The Bad Times

Today's Running World Quote was:

"It takes faith and the courage to risk failure in order to realize one's destiny. Having had my share of failures throughout my career I know that it is well worth the risk." - Ryan Hall, American long distance runner and winner of the 2008 United States Olympic Marathon Trials

I love this quote. It really hit home after the past few weeks I have had. 

This explains a lot of my lack of posting. 

"Drama" is exactly how I'd characterize what's been going on. I'd love to divulge everything (not) but it involves tears, yelling, alcohol and honestly a little loss of dignity on my part every once in a while.  

Don't worry, you can just go watch an ABC-no-so-Family show and it will be about the same. 

Anyway the drama has caused some sidetrackedness in my focus on training. I'm still doing it but it's been more of a mind numbing get-away-from-everything thing, causing me to not want to post about it. 

On top of my 'drama' I had one of the worst runs of life on Sunday.  I had skipped my long run last weekend due to, surprise, drama and drinking, and so I was excited to get back to a 10 miler on Sunday.  I had eaten breakfast with some friends early in the morning and headed out around 2pm so I could have plenty of time to digest my food.  I felt perfectly fine when I left. Excited to run, had on new clothes, it was a beautiful day in Atlanta at a high 60's low 70's temp with some wind. 

Well I got to about mile 2.5 and realized something wasn't quite right. My legs weren't shaking that dead feeling. I chalked it up to a few days of not running and they were just stiff but I couldn't get rid of it. By mile 4.5 I was in the Virginia Highlands and had stopped. I was sitting on a bench with absolutely dead legs and a stomach ache just to add to it. My lungs were on fire and everything felt like it was falling apart.  I knew I wasn't going to make 10 miles that day, I was praying just for 8 at the rate I was going. I texted my roommate with a warning text of "this isn't going so hot" just in cased I needed her to come get me.

Yeah, I felt THAT bad. 

So I kept going, forced myself at least, slowly, and told myself that if I could just keep going and walk some/rest I'd make it through. 

The next 3.5 miles were the worst miles ever. 

I've never thrown up from working out but I was pretty damn close, and I actually WANTED to. I wanted to throw up so bad thinking it would make me feel better. Anything to make me feel better. I kept waiting for a second wind but no. And of course when you're in the middle of Atlanta you're smack in the middle of a MILLION and one hills. Steep, long hills. 

I somehow made it back to campus and when my Garmin watch hit 8 miles I just stopped. And I walked home. Walked. I've never done that in my life. It was miserable. I was miserable. I felt like such a  failure. And the half is only 3 weeks away! I was supposed to be throwin out 8 miles like nothin. 

My legs just did not want it. And I had to listen on Sunday. 

Maybe it's been the alcohol, which honestly hasn't been much because if any of y'all knew me you knew I can get a hangover from 2 beers and be hammered in 1. Maybe it's all this drama, or school, or the stress I've been putting on myself lately but it's just been a rough few weeks of training. My Monday run was sucky as well. Legs hadn't recovered yet but I knew I needed to get the miles in. 

Anyway back to the applicable quote for the day. I guess this is all of my failures right now. I keep fighting the failure feeling. I have to shake it because I start taper in 8 days and then it's race time. I've been working way too hard to let this feeling take me down.

So it's time to push the personal shit out of my mind and get it all done and get back to running happy instead of this moody gloomy running.

HeavyWeight

This week I have been put through pseudo hell and back. 

My training goes light week, medium week, heavy week. This week was heavy week. The past 2 weeks have felt you know, hard, but nothing like this week. I am sore EVERYWHERE. My back hurts, my arms hurt, my legs, my ass, my abs. Everything hurts.

Today I ran 8.6 miles and it was probably the longest 8.6 miles of my training yet. It took all of my energy to get through it. I got a second wind around 4.5 miles at my turn around point in the Highlands. Seriously though my legs felt like lead. Lead jelly. 

Needless to say it took a very long hot shower of stretching to get all the kinks out of my body and I'll still be asking for a massage from Christopher later. 

This long run also brings my total mileage this week to 20 miles!!!! 

Epic. I feel epic. 

In other amazing news, I had my first Atlanta Track Club Kilometer Kids meeting Thursday! 

I'm so excited to get to work with kids. I really need to get my head out of the Engineering cloud I live in every day. 

Tomorrow is rest + super bowl day and I will be vegging on a couch and probably enjoying a whiskey coke or two. 

I hope everyone has a GREAT Sunday and enjoys it as much as I hopefully will.

Run Happy!

Lame

I am LAME.

I am lame for not writing about the past few weeks. They have been epic. 

I had a rough rough cold after that 7 miler two weeks ago. It held on from Thursday till the next Tuesday. I  missed my long run, and my Tuesday morning run. Got back into the gym for weights on Wednesday and then had a lovely, hot, humid, muggy, early 5+ mile run on the silver comet. Mmmm flat road. 

That week (last week) I had my goal set. I had missed a long run and I had one more weekend before I could sign up for the half with the 55$ price tag. 

I was scheduled via THE PLAN for 8 miles. But I wanted 9. I set it out. I mapped it on map my run and knew on Monday that's what I'd be running Saturday. I wanted it. I dreamed of it. I told everyone I could that I was going to do it so that I could really celebrate Halloween. So I had enough people that knew I was going to do it that I wouldn't back down.

Saturday morning I rolled out of bed, meaning popped up like it was my life plan, at 7am and was out the door by 7:30. I had most of a power bar and had a gel in my pocket and was READY. I think I literally said "ok i'm ready" out loud as I left my apartment complex.

I had some issues with my left shoulder cramping up really bad, and a sidestich on the same side but they went away after about ohhhh 4 miles or so.  I can't believe I can say that so nonchalantly. 4 miles. MEH no biggy!

I found out how tough North Avenue was, the hills are absurd, and managed to finish in 9.2 miles in 1:41:11. I think I almost cried when I got home I was THAT happy. I promptly officially signed up for the Half on Thanksgiving psyched to get a personalized bib!

It was glorious, and my legs didn't even feel that bad! They felt a little sore/heavy after halloween but I think that was from my heels/falling/being absurd.

Tuesday I turned around and ran 6 miles in the morning with sub 10 min/miles. GLORIOUS. Legs felt great, everything felt great actually. Tummy has been acting up but the mileage is doing it.

So then this morning, I get up, ready to do another 5 and it's raining. And cold. I mean really cold and rainy. I was not feeling it. So I skipped. I feel awful, but I just couldn't go out in the rain before the sun came up when it was cold out. It felt like running into my own horror movie. I was going to get snatched up by a chainsaw-trucker or something. So I went back to bed. 

And watched my 20 mile week go BYE BYE. unless I make it up tomorrow or Sunday.

Saturday however, is going to be it. It's going to be my first double digit run. It's going to happen and I can't WAIT. 

I actually might cry. 

Really. 

Day 4: Running Crashers

Today was a 3-4 mile run as marked out by my lovely little planning calender. 

The BF decided last night he wanted to stay over and crash my run in the morning. More affectionately he just wanted to run with me. Which is always entertaining. 

I've finally stolen for extended use one of my friend's Garmin watch's so now I can actually track my pace on my own! I told the BF we were going to the park and back, which is right over 4 miles. 4.2 to be exact. 

Well it's all hills, and I have never ran it without stopping on purpose. There's stopping for stop lights in the middle of Atlanta and then there's me just giving up on some of those hills.  Well this morning the BF didn't give me that option. We finished with a 10:24 min/mile pace and with the sun coming up in Atlanta. It was a gorgeous morning and a very good run. I can't wait for my 5 mile run on Saturday morning. 

Today all I did was study heat transfer. Besides the feeling of impending doom of exams I've been a sore mess.  I lifted last night for the first time in a very long time and I am feeling it in every muscle above my abs. It makes me want a beer.

Mmmm Beer.